I need to get off of tumblr/dA and the like and focus on my life right now.
It's too much. College is burying me to my ears in work already and I am in danger of failing. This is my last year and the tail-end of my financial aid, so slacking is not an option. Art will be put on hold for rest days only, but any drawing I do will certainly be for overdue commissions or quick adoptables.
I have successfully recovered (!!) mentally over the last two years, stabilized my personal life as much as I can, and I am ready to take the plunge.
I am going to devote my time to taking care of my much neglected body.
I must learn to do this from the ground up. Any time I spend on the computer will primarily be dedicated to research and planning, and of course, copious amounts of homework. This includes but is not nearly limited to - learning how to eat, how to cook, how to exercise (a huge hurdle), how to dress, how to be hygienic, how to manage time, how to manage money, how to buy, how to be handy around the house and car, and even how to drive (yep, I'm overdue to get my license). I basically need to learn how to become a functioning adult if I am to have the success I desire. I've been investing incredible effort into learning everything about and taking stellar care of my animals and I feel no expense is too much for them. However, I have never had any medical care, balk at spending more than 5 dollars on anything to wear, eat, or bathe with, and have convinced myself I'm 'comfortable' when I am not for far too long. My naivety shows in my flesh and my mannerisms. It's disgusting and completely unacceptable. It's about time I start taking care of my own 'husbandry'.
I am starting at 5'11'' - 310lbs, with a single pair of tattered hiking bots, exactly 3 appropriate-for-public outfits, a cast iron pan, a very stunted knowledge of the working world thanks to my poor upbringing, and an extreme drive to correct that and for accomplishing my own health, wealth, and happiness. My significant other will be embarking on this journey to health with me and we have always made an excellent team in the past. He is starting this better in health than I, but poorer in habits, so we may balance each other well.
The only barrier to me starting how I'd like to right now is that dreadful thing called money. Our vehicle is not reliable, a huge wall in my getting some things I need that I cannot buy online. I have to barter rides from a friend until I've saved enough for more reliable used car. I cannot safely start training without proper footwear. I have no clothes that are even useable for working out (nope, don't even own sweats and tees) and it's incredibly difficult for me to find anything that fits me because I live in a very poor, sparsely populated area. (In short, the thrift shopping is poor-to-pathetic and department stores are non-existent.) I've already spent the past year learning how to eat in moderation (a great success, actually!) and moderately well on the cheap and utilize every resource available to me. Yet, it's somewhat difficult to afford the leap I need from cheap grains to pricier fresh vegetables and proteins, especially feeding two people (and my SO is an insatiable carnivore). I know my options and limits with food though, and suggestions aren't needed, but thank you. I need clothes at every level (the most expensive, and serious, because literally, for example, I only own one bra and one pair of shoes and I've had them for years). I would also appreciate having basic beginners equipment like a bathroom scale, water bottles and a cheap set of hand weights. And eventually, a thorough checkup on my overdue medical care, which I do not have, cannot afford, nor do I qualify for any sort of insurance. I'm not even sure if it's safe for me to exercise with some of the health problems I've had lately, but I can't afford not to as much as I can't afford someone to tell me not to. Working out does me no good and isn't even possible if I can only afford to eat mac n cheese and ramen during the week. If anyone cares to donate, every dollar counts towards changing my life, but this is not an emergency by any stretch of the imagination and I am not asking for it.
I can happily discuss my personal, home, money, and health situations more for anyone who is skeptical, concerned, or just curious. I'm not really a private person and I don't mind. However, if you want to be critical, /go away/ - I'm in the middle of telling you in this very post that I'm going to /fix everything and change./ Besides, I don't have a terrible track record anyway, I've always been responsible and my important bills are already paid. The only mar on my reputation is overdue artwork.
My plan so far, or at least, the bare bones summary of it;
- I was invited by an ex-professor from my college and financial manager of my bank to sit down for some lessons in finance. I accept and will be taking him up on this as soon as...
- I have my hygiene in check! I'm not a nasty slob or anything, but I've got to buy some choice products, get a haircut (haven't in three years), enforce some daily rhythms, and make more trips to the laundromat...
- With clothes that aren't embarrassing! No joke! Everything I own is overworn and stained, too small, or hand-me-downs that are way too big! I can't walk up the stairs without my pants falling...
- Which was a pain when walking up and down the stairs was my first plan to exercise at home on the cheap. Suffice to say, it was a terrible and half-hearted plan - so I finished putting together a real plan recently before I decided a hiatus was in store...
- And I must, must, must, stick to it. My life is getting shorter and being lazy all the time might as well be the same as being dead. I have a pressing need to be productive and constantly improve. I don't need to justify myself as much as I already have.
Want to follow me? I don't know how helpful or inspiring it will be, I may do some intermittent health blogging to keep track of progress and hold myself publicly accountable. If I start that it will be at HealthyHoatzin.Tumblr.com
I know I have incredible willpower and am relatively adaptable. It's about time I defeat my excuses and discipline myself to use it to it's - my - full potential.
Peace, and many thanks for listening and understanding.